tiptoeing in,
feeling guilty for abandoning my dear blog for so long…
Truth is… I’ve sat down many times to write this blog post. The words have eluded me.
It took me 9 weeks to realize that I now speak a new language entirely.
Yes, he is here.
Rowan Grey Osterman, born at 1:22am on December 3rd, 2010.
8 pounds even, 20 inches long.
It is safe to say that the labor day (all 22 grueling hours of it) was one of the worst days of my life. At the end of it all, as I lay on the operating room table, my husband stroking my hair and kissing my face, as I felt my child being pulled from my body… I sank.
Gave into the pain,
the exhaustion,
the worry.
And let myself fall into the darkness.
I thought “He’s here, he’s okay, he’s safe in Colin’s arms. ” And as dramatic as it sounds, I truly thought “okay Bing, you can die now”.
Hours later I awoke. Not dead, still hungry, and thinking to myself “did that really happen?”.
It was like waking up for the first time in my life. I saw a person who looked an awful lot like my husband holding a tiny perfect being who looked an awful lot like his Uncle Brad.
And it occured to me that Rowan was not the only person born that night.
My husband and I were born all over again. We were irrevocably and completely transformed.
His parents.
I saw love pouring out of every part of Colin’s face. I felt tears pouring out of mine. This was it. This was why were were put on this Earth… This is why we smiled shyly at each other and shook hands on a school bus fourteen years ago.
This is what a miracle looks like.
Our love story personified.
photograph courtesy of Angie Hayes
photograph courtesy of Angie Hayes
photograph courtesy of Angie Hayes
photograph courtesy of Angie Hayes
photograph courtesy of Angie Hayes
photograph courtesy of Angie Hayes
Off to begin again,
Bing
Ninja Quote of the Day:
“Now you know just how much I love you.”
-Bing’s Momma
You always know what to say and how to say it. I was a little teary but made it through the post so happy for you.
Then came the ninja quote of the day. And tears started to fall.
I’m so happy for you and your family Bing. Thank you for sharing it for all to see.
I love you!
Oh Bing I am so very happy for you!!! you have a beautiful baby. I love the second last pic the best, You look fulfilled. God Bless your Family!!
Wait till you notice that you are no longer Bing and Colin. You’ll be introduced as “Hey everybody, this is Rowan and his mom and dad”. No names necessary. And you don’t mind.
So happy for you!! What an amazing realization it must be to know that you are parents and that your love has brought a miracle to life! SO wonderful!
You said it all wonderfully and being a parent of two understood how you felt you were born again. I could never put down in words how I felt the day both my kids were born, other than to say that was when my life took a change for the best.
These are wonderful shots and I look forward watching Rowan grow up.
hadn’t read this yet…
awesome perfection!
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