Tonight I heard a sweet baby’s voice (his sibling was in my class) out in lobby while I was teaching. My heart jumped to my throat and I ached to hold Rowan. When I got home tonight and he was already in bed. As usual, I was totally crushed that I didn’t make it home in time to kiss his squishy cheeks and sing him our songs and watch him rub his eyes with tiny fists. Tears were starting to form and I struggled to keep my composure as Doc gave me a sympathetic hug.
I’m not always an emotional wreck. Really. In fact, just this weekend I was so much in need of personal space after having a clingy teething baby attached to my body all week…. that I actually hid from him in my bathroom and played solitare on my iPhone for 3 whole minutes.
So back to my little pity party…
I decided to add to my running gratitude list for the day instead of having a meltdown in the middle of my kitchen whilst still wearing my supremely uncomfortable tights and leotard.
As I changed into my jammies, it was running through my head like a mantra, like a prayer
“at least you aren’t working a double shift trying to support your family… you get to be with him all day… you could be in Iraq… you could have lost your arms in an attack by an evil bunny and be unable to hold him at all.. he could be 30 and married and living on the moon… you could be childless and still wishing….”
I hope I can remember my gratitude list when he wakes me up at 5am for a bottle.
Until then, I can close my own sleepy eyes, snuggle with my gorgeous husband, and hope to find my babydoll in our dreams tonight….
~Bing
Ninja Thought of the Day:
“Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving.”
~Kahlil Gibran
Like this:
You are so talented & precious!!!! & still SO YOUNG!!!! Imagine EVERYTHING you’ll have accomplished by the time you’re 50. I (and millions of other moms) know what it’s like to miss your baby SO MUCH, your body physically aches!!! You really are making a difference in the community & just think of how proud of you he’ll be when he understands just how much you’ve meant to all of us!!!!
Can I just say this… it doesn’t getting easier. I cry just looking at my son sometimes. Children have that affect on you. And they always will. To recognize what you are thankful for at that exact moment… that’s just being a good parent.